WTF is on my Mind?!
Author, Speaker, Whistleblower and award-winning Director Mark Vicente was behind the sleeper hit “What The Bleep Do We Know?!” Several books have been written about the film’s remarkable grassroots marketing campaign, which led to its unprecedented success.
Mark was born in Johannesburg, South Africa in 1965. Taking his first photograph at age four, he quickly discovered his passion for being behind the camera. After attending film and drama school in South Africa, he began working his way up the ranks of the camera department, from Assistant to Operator to Cinematographer. His first big break came as Director of Photography on the musical “SARAFINA,” starring Whoopi Goldberg. In 1992, he set his sights on Hollywood and relocated to Los Angeles to shoot his first studio picture for Disney; “FATHERHOOD,” starring Patrick Swayze and Halle Berry. At the age of 26, he became one of the youngest cinematographers to shoot a big-budget studio picture.
Over the next few decades, he went on to shoot an additional 14 feature films and numerous documentaries, music videos and commercials. Mark soon found there were in him, untold stories he desperately wanted to express as a Director. He was driven by the conviction that tales of greatness, nobility and introspection could be exciting and financially successful.
Perhaps because of the very obvious race and class iniquities in South Africa, he found himself propelled to question certain fundamental assumptions at a very young age. Beliefs about human behavior, cosmology, religion, existentialism and mysticism. Along the way, he stumbled into a few situations where leaders with malignant pathologies (masquerading as saintly philosophers) spoke the talk of self-improvement but did untold damage to their followers... and him.
Looking back, he can now say he has been in at least two cults. His last foray into personal growth and his defection from NXIVM was chronicled in the HBO series “The Vow”. Mark and a few plucky whistleblowers exposed the criminal activities of the organization, resulting in multiple arrests and indictments. He doesn’t consider himself a cult expert, but by his own admission, “I’m an expert in being screwed over, waking up, and knowing how to spot them.” He’s got a pretty salty approach to most things and is fascinated by the myriad patterns in the human psychodynamic that create the best and the worst in civilization.
Join Mark as he unpacks a whole range of topics to do with: Psychology, Consciousness, Morality, Narcissistic Abuse, Spirituality, Cults, Propaganda, Science, Filmmaking, and Philosophy.You never quite know what you’re going to get, as it really does depend on… WTF is on his mind?!
WTF is on my Mind?!
NXIVM & the Psychology of Self-Pity w/ Richard Grannon
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In this episode of WTF is on My Mind, I sit down with author and dark psychology educator Richard Grannon to explore something that’s been gnawing at my Patreon community: the disturbing rise of post-cult interviews where former NXIVM insiders speak as though they’re remorseful, but their words don’t always match their energy. My community senses there’s a difference between genuine accountability and what Richard and I refer to as cognitive empathy theater. And many survivors tell me they can feel any potential disconnect immediately, even when the language sounds “right.”
We talk about the spectrum of remorse—why some people can name their actions with humility while others wrap themselves in self-pity and sentimentality.
We unpack whether narcissists and psychopaths really don’t know what they’re doing, or if that confusion is actually part of the performance. We question the cultural habit of rushing to psychologize abusers, and we name the uncomfortable truth: trauma doesn’t cause cruelty. And empathy without discernment? That’s not compassion... it’s a liability. Sometimes even a form of self-betrayal.
This isn’t just about NXIVM. It’s about the larger conversation around power, denial, and the subtle rebranding of harm in public spaces. It’s about what happens when people who inflicted damage are given platforms to spin their story before they’ve truly reckoned with it. And it’s about what it means to hold that with clarity, without being consumed by bitterness.
My incredible Patreon members helped shape this conversation through their questions and insights. They’ve created a space where honesty, nuance, and emotional maturity still exist—and I’m grateful for it. If you’re looking for real talk about dark systems, manipulative personalities, and the ongoing work of recovery, this one’s for you.
You can access the uncensored, extended portion of this conversation—where I ask Richard the specific questions submitted by my Patreon community—at patreon.com/markvicente
The views and opinions expressed on WTF is on my Mind?! do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast or Mark Vicente. Any content provided by guests are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.
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