Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro Ep 10 - The Toxic Text Messages Part 2

This is episode 10 of Inst@Guru: Bentinho Massaro, an ongoing deep dive investigation into the world of Dutch spiritual influencer Bentinho Massaro and the people inside it.

The damning text messages continue.

This episode is Keilan McNeil's. He reads through two text threads that show a side of Bentinho Massaro that his followers rarely, if ever, see. The first is a group chat in which Bentinho systematically dismantles his then-girlfriend Alison in front of the inner circle, including telling her to "go fuck yourself" while simultaneously complaining that her "negative energy" is ruining his dinner plans with a Playboy journalist. The second is the day Keilan and Jade leave the compound in Mexico. What starts as a loving farewell message turns, within minutes, into Keilan being called a pussy, a demon, and a liability in front of the entire group. His crime: asking about a drone he was owed as payment for months of unpaid work.

What you're going to see is the same playbook Jacqueline described in episode 9. The warmth, then the detonation, then the softening, then the demand for total submission. Over and over. Different person, same architecture.

You'll also see Cory's role up close. She isn't just a bystander. She's an enforcer, and she believes every word of it.

And if you're in the inner circle watching this, thinking you've never seen anything like it, you may not have. Because even the inner circle was compartmentalized. That's not a coincidence. That's the design.

The invitation to Bentinho, to Cory, to Kars, to anyone in leadership who wants to make the case with me publicly and on the record, remains open.

Inst@Guru is part of the podcast WTF Is On My Mind, available on YouTube and all podcast platforms.

Transcript

[00:00:00:05 - 00:00:01:20]
Mark
 This is part two of the text messages.

[00:00:02:21 - 00:00:12:05]
Mark
 It doesn't need a lot of setup, but I'd still like to share a few thoughts, because it's easy to watch this and think, how did anyone around him not see what was happening?

[00:00:13:05 - 00:00:48:07]
Mark
 Okay, here's the answer. Most people who went to Bentino's retreats never saw any of this. They got the teachings, maybe the feeling of expanded consciousness, the rush of the high vibe, and they went home. The inner circle saw it, but the inner circle had a framework for it, a way to explain it away or incorporate it into their mission. They were warriors building a new civilization. The suffering was the training, the cruelty was the mirror. If you've been in a cult, you already know that feeling, because every cult believes they are the answer to upgrading civilization.

[00:00:49:07 - 00:01:05:03]
Mark
 I believed it. It's one of the most powerful hooks there is, and it's one of the reasons these text messages are so very important. This is what's behind the curtain. It's the version of the leader that the warriors are never allowed to question, because questioning it means they are the problem.

[00:01:06:06 - 00:01:33:20]
Mark
 And I want to say something to the people in the inner circle who might be watching this and thinking, well, I've never seen messages like this. Yeah, you may not have, because even the inner circle was subdivided and compartmentalized. Not everyone saw the same things, and that by the way is not an accident. It's how the leader keeps everyone triangulated against each other, making sure nobody has the full picture. You thought you did, and then one day you find out how much you didn't know. And it's a lot.

[00:01:35:06 - 00:01:43:20]
Mark
 And if you're watching this and something is starting to shift, it's okay to admit that someone you followed or admired or even loved didn't show you the side of themselves.

[00:01:44:21 - 00:01:46:00]
Mark
 Maybe it was hidden on purpose.

[00:01:47:00 - 00:01:59:19]
Mark
 That's what makes these groups so complex. The harm gets folded into teachings that genuinely seem good at the time. The evil hides in plain sight, tucked inside an ideology that you believed in for real reasons.

[00:02:01:06 - 00:02:22:00]
Mark
 A lot of people figure out eventually that something was wrong, but they feel too ashamed to say it out loud, too embarrassed that they got fooled. I understand that. We all got fooled. But where exactly were you supposed to learn this? Show me the class in high school where they teach you about malignant pathologies. Show me where you learned to spot cult dynamics.

[00:02:23:03 - 00:02:30:09]
Mark
 For most people, the first lesson is the betrayal itself. The moment you realize that what you thought was good is not.

[00:02:31:21 - 00:02:37:13]
Mark
 What we're trying to do in these text episodes is say the quiet, hidden part out loud. Now,

[00:02:38:15 - 00:02:59:01]
Mark
 before Keelan takes us through his text messages, I want to speak directly to anyone in the inner circle who might be watching. The invitation I've extended to Bentinio remains open, a publicly recorded chat. But I'm also extending that to Corey, to Kars, to anyone in leadership who feels they genuinely represent Bentinio and want to make his case.

[00:03:00:04 - 00:03:11:00]
Mark
 Bentinio is who I'd most like to speak with, but I'm not holding my breath. Just so you know, the door is open. Alright, let's get into it.

[00:03:35:00 - 00:03:43:03]
Keilan
 Okay, so what we're looking at is a group chat with me, Corey, Allison, and Bentinio. And this was in Colorado a couple of months into my stints with them.

[00:03:45:00 - 00:04:28:01]
Keilan
 And this is like in my previous podcast, I talked about how him and Allison were fighting all the time. And this is just proof of that. We're staying at Corey's parents house. And we were kind of down on our finances, like trying to come up with ways to make money. I remember them writing a letter to like sell some dream to investors to try to get a bunch of new money in and that it was gonna like this whole thing. So I remember feeling a little dissociated while this was happening. Like I was kind of, it was kind of like bullets were flying by my head. And I was aware of the group chat, but I wasn't really engaging. It was a little too much for me. And Corey, as you'll see, kind of handles it as she always does for Bentinio. So I guess this is like, and I guess we had some interview coming up with Playboy magazine.

[00:04:29:07 - 00:05:16:10]
Keilan
 And to me, I'm like, wow, this is like cutting edge. This is crazy. Like we're in the spiritual group, but it's an interview with Playboy like, whoa. And so when he says dinner with Jesse at 7 30, I guess he's referring to an interview we're supposed to have that night, a meeting with this guy from Playboy. So, okay. So this has been Tina talking. I don't know what he says about great summer observation. Dinner with Jesse at 7 30. Allison has been going down to slide steadily for the past three days. I am again left feeling abused and gutted energetically. And she once again, waves it away like it's nothing. She's selfishly placing me in a difficult and unloving position today and tomorrow with Jesse. I don't want her around because it'll be palpably bad in the field. And I honestly also really don't want to get into my relationship details with him. It's the last fucking thing I want to talk about and risk this message for the public. Any advice or clarity from you guys would be appreciated. I feel sick.

[00:05:17:15 - 00:05:20:22]
Keilan
 Hanging out with Jesse's last thing I want at the moment, I was looking forward to it.

[00:05:20:22 - 00:05:22:19]
Mark
 Can I just ask you a question?

[00:05:22:19 - 00:05:23:11]
Keilan
 Yeah.

[00:05:23:11 - 00:05:29:23]
Mark
 So in his relationship with Allison, he is being abused. Yeah, right. All the time. So abuse does exist.

[00:05:29:23 - 00:05:33:15]
Jade
 I guess so. On that side of the fence, apparently.

[00:05:33:15 - 00:05:51:23]
Keilan
 Yeah. And it's a lot of the same energy already is what he was talking about. Jacqueline and how it attacked. He is, I feel I have to do the most, I feel I have to do the most painful thing in my system now, put on a poker face and actually lie. And Allison clearly chose to put me in this position, well aware of what it was coming. She chose herself, her thoughts. Allison puts a slanted face.

[00:05:51:23 - 00:05:54:16]
Mark
 Oh, so she's in this chat too.

[00:05:54:16 - 00:05:55:07]
Jade
 Yes. Yes.

[00:05:55:07 - 00:06:01:09]
Mark
 This is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, to her about her. Oh my God. Now I'm understanding. Yeah. So she's literally, yeah.

[00:06:01:09 - 00:06:52:09]
Keilan
 He's shitting on her in the chat. Yeah. With me and Corey and then the two of them. Okay. So this part's pretty funny because, and interesting. Cause he says, this is what I wanted to get done today. Most of which was important to the flow and helping thousands of helping thousands. So instead of actually doing these things, now he's, he's going to write a nice little bold list of what he was supposed to be doing to help thousands. Zoom about tr infinity website with Keelan and Matthias. That never happened. Publish YouTube video, power walk. I was the one working on that. Publish private sessions option on, I don't even know what that means, but private sessions on them. Get tan. Okay. This is what's going to help thousands. He needs to get tan. Meet Jesse for dinner. So that's the Playboy guy draft email to cigar investor regarding the house. What zoom with the team? Question mark, finalized, personalized Andrew Cohen email, edit Natasha documents. So we can post last week's session to tier two today as we promised them. Instead I've been sleeping and healing this leak, preparing for internal war tonight.

[00:06:55:06 - 00:07:18:09]
Keilan
 I'm sorry, Ben Tino says Alison, Ben Tino, because Alison could not direct her thoughts away from the objects of her fear. Go fuck yourself bitch. Alison, I honestly don't even know what we've been fighting about. This is similar to what Jacqueline talked about. It's like, what, where's, where's it at? Ben Tino says, you never know. That's still not an excuse in the least. It does not matter what the topic is. I don't want any fighting in my close circle. Then why are you putting this in a group chat, bro? Alison says agreed.

[00:07:21:03 - 00:07:44:21]
Keilan
 Ben Tino says, if we really don't even get the basics by now, like Keelan posted on his story, I guess I did something cool. Then we will inevitably keep abusing each other and blaming each other for our emotional guidance system, attempting to alert us that a change is change in thought is needed. Instead we Alison choose to remain weak minded and blame another one for one, one for one's own unwillingness to edit thoughts as they enter the mind. That's interesting.

[00:07:44:21 - 00:07:46:07]
Jacqueline
 So that is really interesting.

[00:07:46:07 - 00:07:52:00]
Keilan
 He wants her to whatever thoughts come into her mind about him. She wants her to edit them and she's unable to do that.

[00:07:53:00 - 00:07:57:09]
Keilan
 This is not okay. No matter how slow we think we're being manipulation is manipulation. There is no less or more.

[00:07:58:19 - 00:08:00:17]
Jade
 Well, we agree on one thing.

[00:08:00:17 - 00:08:38:00]
Keilan
 Alison says, what have I blamed you for in the past few days? But he says abuse of another to try and fix one's own mind is not okay. Ha ha. OMG says Ben Tino. I'm going to shower bitch, please. What the fuck? Alison says a specific example would help me, you know, maybe so they could actually have a conversation and talk this out. But Tino says, I'll say one thing. If your life was at stake, would you still not know what you're doing wrong? And would we have this dialogue? Would you just know you have been off and done everything in your power to up level that and no longer tolerate it? You playing dumb is always the imposter self trying to stretch time consumption from my vehicle. So I am less in flow and less of service to the world. You are possessed with stupidity, my darling. Go fuck yourself.

[00:08:39:23 - 00:08:44:05]
Mark
 I do want to understand that if he feels these things about her, why is he with her?

[00:08:44:05 - 00:08:56:23]
Jacqueline
 Such a great question. And I've thought that myself for a very long time. Like, if this is such a drain on you, like, why would you entertain this relationship? Like, how is that even a good example to the rest of the world?

[00:08:58:01 - 00:09:02:09]
Jade
 Also, none of us were drains when we first met him. That was fine. We were good then.

[00:09:03:11 - 00:09:07:07]
Jacqueline
 Yeah, I'm not saying anything negative about Alison here. I'm saying like, yeah,

[00:09:08:09 - 00:09:18:18]
Keilan
 well, that was what was going on for me, too. At some point, I'm like, well, if she's really not getting it this hardcore, like maybe this isn't for her. Like, if you actually care about someone, then maybe you should let them go, you know,

[00:09:20:01 - 00:09:49:13]
Keilan
 especially if you're all seeing like Jesus. Okay, so Benino says, please just care enough about us to not play dumb at the end of each episode like, like that. Pretending like this is the first time we've discovered what your problem is. Write it on a post-it note and keep it on your bedside if your memory is truly so bad. State, my problem is this, so we can quit repetitive dialogue. As tolerated by your low level of care for this group and my imbalance towards compassion, your problem is fear. Fear of loneliness, fear of emptiness, fear of not getting attention and not getting externally validated. That's what you've been blaming me for.

[00:09:49:13 - 00:10:01:12]
Jade
 Also, how does all the girls he chooses have, chooses have the same problem? We all want validation. We all want blah, blah, blah. We all want- We're all afraid. Yeah, there's themes here.

[00:10:02:20 - 00:10:05:12]
Mark
 Extremely attractive, all of you, and then you're a problem.

[00:10:06:22 - 00:10:21:05]
Keilan
 So I guess Alison says, okay, I get it, but when specifically have I done this in the past few days, Benino says, OMG, can you even take 15% responsibility for getting clear about your own behavior? Alison says, oh wait, Benino says, Alison, to get fucked by Arnold Schwarzenegger and realize her sins would be a good start.

[00:10:22:09 - 00:10:36:09]
Keilan
 Alison says, what? Like, this isn't the entire thing. Corey says, LOL, Alison, what if you did know, could feel it, could perceive what Benino was pointing to? Alison says, all right. Corey says, can you call yourself out so this can start to work?

[00:10:36:09 - 00:10:42:23]
Mark
 Let me just understand. So Corey at this point, are they a throuple?

[00:10:42:23 - 00:10:44:05]
Jacqueline
 No. No.

[00:10:44:05 - 00:10:45:23]
Mark
 This is before Jacqueline.

[00:10:45:23 - 00:10:58:12]
Jacqueline
 Corey is just such an amazing student and Benino has tried to have Benino sleep with him for a long time and she always says, no, I'm not attracted to you. We don't need to do that. It wasn't until after me that she was waiting.

[00:10:58:12 - 00:10:58:21]
Mark
 I see.

[00:10:58:21 - 00:11:40:00]
Keilan
 But what's so disorienting about these occurrences is no matter what Benino says, Corey is immediately there to back him up. So already you're getting two times. Double dot. Like you're getting hit in two directions. Yeah. So, and Corey knows the only way that this can start to work out is if you call yourself out and say that you are wrong, even if you don't know what it's for. True. True. Even if you don't know what it's for. Alison says the first step feels like just to apologize for seeing that I'm causing pain. Similar to what Jacqueline was feeling in the other one. But he knows that the interview is my priority right now because the mission is my priority. Always. Okay. Corey says, great. What's needed to feel clear and ready? Shall we do a group huddle or one Alison out of your space? To be honest, feels quickly resolvable. In my opinion, Alison feels stuck, but willing.

[00:11:43:04 - 00:12:19:08]
Keilan
 But he knows says I can't stand her veil. Her playing dumb is the weakest and most disrespectful thing to me. She's not stuck. She's abusing sucking up time and energy to feed the ego within her. I would need her to break through that. In other words, since it's not actually an obstacle, simply stop doing it before dinner. If this stands any chance of resolve that quickly, it would, it would have to be a full body demonstration of her love and passion for this mission and me and this team and our pristine environment. She would have to be okay. She'd have to okay back in her mind. Objectively, every little thought she has had the past two or three nights and days. This is similar to the obsession over go through every single thought you had.

[00:12:19:08 - 00:12:27:05]
Jacqueline
 Like also point out how he just said, my focus is on the interview. We can't talk about this. And then he proceeds to launch into a speech about else.

[00:12:27:05 - 00:12:28:09]
Keilan
 Absolute warfare.

[00:12:28:09 - 00:12:29:04]
Jacqueline
 Yeah.

[00:12:30:06 - 00:12:52:16]
Keilan
 And see how every single one of the negative ones lead to inevitable abuse. Every negative thought she has is now abusive. She would have to acknowledge all of that. A hundred percent of it. No playing dumb or ignorant. Corey says, Ali, I love something about this. Ben's intolerance for even the aspects of the ego that we struggle to see the nature of the ego itself, the confusion and defensiveness and sad puppyness. This is a high bar and one you can reach.

[00:12:54:00 - 00:13:23:20]
Keilan
 So now the game's on like Alison's like, okay, I guess there is a game I need to start playing. And Corey of course, his students, you know, teacher's pet and just whatever. So Ben Sino says, and asking questions about it to try to look innocent and willing. If she really wanted this harmony and to respect us, me, the mission more than she wanted a boyfriend to fuck her and romance her, we would not be having this energy wasting conversation right now at the heels of a night full of wasted energy draining me. In addition to having this then deprived me, thus deprived me of the reasonable chance to get my important stuff done today.

[00:13:23:20 - 00:13:43:01]
Jade
 Let's get clear on what Alison has been asking and it's to be loved. That was it. Loved in the relationship that she was only allowed to be in, was not allowed to look at other men, have any kind of connection with other men. And that's what he does. He takes that away and he makes it. Are you devoted or not? Devotion means you don't receive back. You just give.

[00:13:45:03 - 00:14:39:15]
Keilan
 But Sino says, honestly, I don't even see it as a high bar. What's so high about seeing and admitting your own lackey thoughts and watching the process as it gets nastier and nastier until you lash out at someone or begin trying to manipulate or project into their mind. Now imagine doing this every week for two years. So this is what's been happening for two years at this point, I guess. How then is admitting this still a high bar? I see a lack of willingness, not stuckness. How dumb, willingly ignorant would you have to be to not see this after all the practice and teachings we've had? Why doesn't she just submit basically is what he's saying. So Patino carries on. He says, either I'm underestimating her intelligence and with that, the intelligence of all of mankind, because I believe any average person would get this by now or she's being full of shit and tolerating it because she wants something else more. So this is back to like, I can't tell if you're basically half evil or full evil. And you know, so Patino, this is the, I think the last text of this thread. He says, people are losers, fucking spineless victims. I'm going to destroy all ignorance. Choose your sides.

[00:14:39:15 - 00:14:42:15]
Mark
 Sorry. One sec. Peep people as in humanity.

[00:14:42:15 - 00:14:43:03]
Keilan
 Yeah.

[00:14:43:03 - 00:14:46:09]
Mark
 Yeah. So humanity or losers, fucking spineless victims.

[00:14:46:09 - 00:14:48:05]
Keilan
 Yep. And he's going to destroy all ignorance.

[00:14:49:10 - 00:15:25:09]
Keilan
 You know how you can tell it if someone is identified with their thoughts, if they speak them, can someone just make sure she does not allow her imposter mind to kill her body while I shower? If you feel so inclined to check, if not also cool, free will and all. Also, I'm not impatient with her process of looking at like, so just let's just stop there for a second. He just said, can someone go make sure she doesn't kill herself or not? That's okay. You know, and I was working on something on my laptop and Corey was kind of already like going down to meet with Allison and I think they went on like a long walk to try to set her mind straight.

[00:15:26:23 - 00:15:37:13]
Keilan
 But I don't even know what to do with this. Like, you know, so I was kind of trying to like keep to myself and like hope Corey and then resolved it.

[00:15:38:19 - 00:16:10:01]
Keilan
 Okay. So he says, Patino carries on. Also, I'm not impatient with her process of looking at all the fear beliefs that are needed to shift before her desire and priorities can shift and thus have her be transformed. It's the taking time and energy that I want to make super clear. I do not tolerate in my tight, deliberate, calculated schedule. There's no space in that schedule for massive amounts of unexpected processing, which she could do herself or with you or someone else if she was willing enough. But Tino's schedule is not deliberate, calculated, etc. Like the dude sleeps in, he's not doing shit. Yeah, he had a tan that day.

[00:16:10:01 - 00:16:23:00]
Jacqueline
 Also, it's interesting. She is allowed to process with other community members to take time away from him, but I'm not allowed to process with other community members. Like there are no consistent rules for everything.

[00:16:23:00 - 00:16:29:17]
Mark
 Yeah, I just am trying to understand something. So if you're connected to or one with the absolute,

[00:16:32:06 - 00:16:34:07]
Mark
 nothing should be unexpected, right?

[00:16:36:00 - 00:16:45:12]
Mark
 And you should be able to tolerate and take in and absorb all of humanity. Or is the absolute, does the absolute reject humanity?

[00:16:46:13 - 00:16:53:01]
Mark
 Like what is this absolute exactly? Is the absolute just like a godlike cunt or is the absolute like everything?

[00:16:53:01 - 00:16:55:10]
Jade
 Everything. There's no even now.

[00:16:55:10 - 00:16:58:11]
Mark
 I'm just asking questions, you know, because I don't know.

[00:16:58:11 - 00:17:01:23]
Jacqueline
 All that is is everything. Okay, so all that is nothing.

[00:17:01:23 - 00:17:14:05]
Mark
 Nothing. So all that is, but not the horrible, what do they call them? Let me see. What was that great thing you said about humanity? I just have to go back.

[00:17:14:05 - 00:17:14:13]
Keilan
 People are losers.

[00:17:14:13 - 00:17:20:14]
Mark
 Oh, yeah. Spinalest victims. Spinalest victims. I'm going to destroy all ignorance. Choose your sides.

[00:17:20:14 - 00:17:27:14]
Keilan
 And this is where people in the cult think, oh my God, he's so like passionate. This is love. Like he can't stand people's egos.

[00:17:27:14 - 00:17:33:05]
Mark
 Yeah. If you think this is love, I think that you had bad love in your life as a child.

[00:17:33:05 - 00:17:42:14]
Jade
 Also, these are the teachings that we're not getting as the girlfriends. These are the teachings that were being smeared for not understanding. Alison wanted love. She wanted kindness.

[00:17:43:19 - 00:18:17:06]
Jade
 And there's no problem here. It's not like Alison did anything. That's what people don't understand. This is not like nothing preceded this that Alison did. She was just probably walking around feeling the shit that she was in. I know Keelan told some story where she was catatonic on a couch over there. So she's just reacting, probably her souls, like screaming for the abuse that she's enduring. And then he just decides to pick a fucking problem with her that day. And then you are in charge of the ping pong ball wherever he decides to say it's landing. And there's no ball in the room. So you're running around and it's how people's minds break.

[00:18:19:09 - 00:18:36:22]
Mark
 Before we continue, if this podcast is in any way valuable to you, please subscribe, give it a rating and a review on whatever platform you're on and share it with someone who needs to hear it. The larger this podcast grows, the more people can hear it. That's how independent work like this survives and finds its people.

[00:18:37:22 - 00:19:15:14]
Mark
 And if you want more, my Patreon is where a lot of the real work happens. It's a community of people who deeply understand what we're talking about here, patterns, narcissism, high control groups, and the journey back to yourself. You get insider access to exposés that are currently in process, the chance to interact directly with survivors from various groups, and special invitations to screenings. These are people I genuinely think out aloud with and what I get back shapes what I do. Also, now and again, they get my legendary rants. If that sounds like your kind of place, the link is in the show notes. Come and find us. All right, back to the episode.

[00:19:15:14 - 00:19:53:04]
Keilan
 So this is the other thread I'm choosing to share. This is when I left the group and you'll notice in this text thread, kind of a similar ping pong pretty quickly between like this loving message, kind of like he was with Jacqueline, like believe in yourself. And then you'll see how dark it turns very quickly. So listen to this, this passionate speech by Bettina Masara. I want to, this is to set this up. This is like, this is when the day I think me and Jade were leaving, like we escaped, like our flights were booked, we're getting out of there. And so this is kind of like a parting message he sent to the group that was in Sakchik, Ananda or whatever, like, this is yeah, the people in Mexico.

[00:19:54:05 - 00:20:00:01]
Keilan
 Okay, so Bettina says, I want to thank everyone in this group. And this group is a whole entity. I love each and every one of you with all my heart.

[00:20:01:12 - 00:21:42:00]
Keilan
 Already. From what the fuck I just read, like these tones are just so drastically different. But he goes on, he says, thank you for enduring this high altitude training for as long as you did. The result of it is each of us is exactly what we need to see and experience. I'm very grateful for this place. It's been a life changer in many ways unseen right now. But as Jesus Christ said, all that is hidden shall become manifest. I believe seeds got planted here that will alter all of our vectors. It feels potent. So to give context on this, this place in Merida was hot as hell. It was over 100 degrees. Like it was it was tragic. And he so he romanticizes it and kind of militarizes it and calls it high altitude spiritual training. You know, like any set he has to plant disease ideas that all this suffering was for something. So he's saying on the metaphysical level, all these beautiful things are happening. People trust that had it all felt smooth and light, we would have been more of the same. And thank you, Keelan and Jade for the reflections provided over the last few days. I've learned a lot and made some aligning and needed course corrections for myself that I believe will echo long into my future trajectory and whatever comes of it. May your journeys be beautiful, rich in everything you'd ever wanted to be. And then some may be filled with love for self source, other selves and from and from other selves. May God's love and light and its magic shower upon you and your paths every step of the way. Thank you for all the little and big things you've contributed to my mission. I'm grateful until we meet again. PS I cannot find any great reason to end my verbal silence. So I will continue to speak only when it feels needed on my mentorship calls, team meetings when otherwise inconveniencing others, or when I believe my words will find fertile ground towards something worthwhile and true to the mission. Anyone here is free to request a verbal meeting and hang out with me when that feels relevant.

[00:21:42:00 - 00:21:58:00]
Jade
 Because he had stopped speaking, it was the whole thing where he told us in the middle of the night, he wanted some rant while everyone was sleeping about how disgusting we all were, how people in this group have been there 10 years and they can't get over their little selves. So he was just saying, I'm continuing that.

[00:21:58:00 - 00:22:11:12]
Keilan
 This is me the day of leaving. And look, I'm like, I love you, brother. Thank you. I'm grateful for each of you guys. Like I'm trying to like peacefully live and leave and dip out, you know. So right after I say that, he goes, Hey, Keelan, did you take the drone and gimbal with you?

[00:22:12:15 - 00:22:33:16]
Keilan
 Lisa says some like, whatever agreeing message. Thank you so much. I agree. The seeds have been planted. But he says, I'm asking about the drone and gimbal. He says, I'm asking mainly because we signed a contract with our next house based on drone footage and video montage of the house. So that I had loosely agreed that I would do like video footage and like drone stuff of this Airbnb that was going to cost tens of thousands of dollars.

[00:22:35:00 - 00:23:00:20]
Keilan
 And so, you know, Paola, his new girlfriend, even to this day, that's still there years later, says, Thank you. I love you with all my heart to continue. And I respond, I say, Yeah, the gimbal I purchased myself and the drone was payment for the NLS video. And I use payment loosely here because what happened was my own drone got damaged and fell into the ocean and I negotiated while filming him for his promo. And I said, like, Hey, can I at least get another drone or I'm not going to be able to shoot these upcoming retreats and stuff.

[00:23:01:21 - 00:23:16:01]
Keilan
 So okay, now here's the ping pong. That inspirational, passionate message about love and light and blah, blah, blah. All of a sudden he hits me with this out of fucking nowhere. I have a few more things to share with you, Keelan, if you're open. And this is in a group message with eight people,

[00:23:17:08 - 00:24:23:09]
Keilan
 the inner circle. But the following I feel is fitting and beneficial enough for the whole group and yourself to see here for it applies in general to all in some way, shape or form. The rest and other details we can address in a smaller chat. I can try and do it myself, the montage of the house, but not without the gear as if he would ever try to film this professionally. You're sudden pulling out based on absolutely nothing and against your pledges may cost us 10 to 30 K. My recommendation. That's a big range. Which one is it? Who the fuck knows? My recommendation in general and a requirement for coming back into our crew in a possible future. Mind your word, man. And don't be a pussy based on your mood swings and hypersensitivities and fears. Be a man, not a child. Be a leader of yourself. Be a man, not a child. All right. He's talking to me like this in front of people. Like he's never done this level. Like, like, okay. Yeah. Yes. Take a hit, lead a war and cause, do the right thing, persevere, get out of your head, devote yourself to something, even if it doesn't always please you. Ironically, as I'm doing with this podcast now, it's exactly, I was thinking this exactly what you're doing right now.

[00:24:24:13 - 00:25:04:10]
Keilan
 This would make you accelerate in my opinion and more powerful of an ally. Right now you're a weak force bro compared to what you can be. And watch for those STS suggestions from elsewhere. And now he's saying, watch out for demonic attacks. Being more straight and powerful in your will and honorable beyond your own feelings will diminish those open windows greatly for demonic attack. Now, if the gear is still here, I can probably create something again, as if he would, if not any recommendations on which gear and how to best get them here based on your previous experience. My former message on wishing you all the best and being grateful for everything is still very much stands by the way. This is what it did with Jacqueline. He said, none of this is a judgment. You know, he softens it. These two messages don't contradict one another in my world.

[00:25:05:10 - 00:25:11:08]
Keilan
 If you want more of my perspective on your actions and behavior and what I believe would aid you going forward, let me know. We can take it to a more private space.

[00:25:12:11 - 00:25:18:02]
Keilan
 So Jade goes on and Jade, what was your perspective at this time? You were trying to leave peacefully at this point too.

[00:25:18:02 - 00:26:04:11]
Jade
 So I had agreed to along with Keelan come back to, I forget where it was, we were going next. There was another place in Mexico that I was going to do some like social media for the Airbnb, because I had more followers than Ben. So I was like, Oh, look, I'll put I'll post about this and post the link so you guys can get money off. And so that was my thing. And so I was like, Oh, cool, we're leaving. It's all good. Like, I had this idea in my head that it would be sticky when we left. And he had been kind of hot and cold, hot and cold. So I was just trying to leave. And so then all of a sudden we starts fighting with Keelan, you just want to make it stop. Like you kind of just feel like please just make it stop. Like say whatever you need to say. Like, my levels are fluctuating because I know I need to do something about this. So I'm trying to say like, Oh, it wasn't me. Like, I'm still coming back. So I was trying to say that.

[00:26:04:11 - 00:27:04:14]
Keilan
 So Jade says wanted to clear up that my intention was always to come back and be there to film the house for my social media. If that was in the agreement, I meant these next few months, I might take and work out of the vortex, but it seems it's changed. And I respect that, but I'm open to coming back and honor that. So, so Corey responds to my message where I said, Yeah, the gimbal was I purchased myself and the drone was payment. And she says, Corey says, glad Ben was firm right here. I felt the same reading this Keelan bad taste in my mouth feels entitled and not transparent or generous or attentive to the whole context. Definitely not grateful. So okay, for me now I'm leaving the compound and like for him to call me a pussy in front of like, especially like just women in general, like Jade was there. Like I'm like, you're, you're trying to demasculate me. And like, actually, now you're inviting me up to the bat because I'm going to keep it cool with you. But I've had no problem relatively addressed to try and address you in the past. So at this point, I'm like, okay, now like, something's got to be here, but I'm still respectful, like as much as I can be in this message. So I say,

[00:27:07:01 - 00:27:27:04]
Keilan
 there's a leak in the company structure that allows for open windows like this, in my opinion. And it mainly has to do with the ambiguity of payments and how much life force and people and quote employees actually give to this mission beyond your own perception and context. On the surface, so I'm referring to like, I don't really care if this costs you 10 to 30 K, because I've been giving my soul and it's not even clear what's being exchanged here, honestly.

[00:27:28:04 - 00:27:38:12]
Keilan
 So I say on the surface, it might assume everything is great, and quotes because we're staying at nice places or eating good, etc. But there's ironically a sense of entitlement that comes from the company structure towards its workers with this as well.

[00:27:39:13 - 00:27:50:05]
Keilan
 So when I say eating good, etc. We had they had a chef for the retreat, and they would cook us one meal a day, and it was dinner. And the meals were nice, like the chef, the chef was like really talented and great, but it was it was one meal a

[00:27:50:05 - 00:27:55:11]
Jade
 day because there were because there were guests there, like there were right, retreat people there.

[00:27:55:11 - 00:28:36:23]
Keilan
 Yeah. So I said, it's not, it's not being obvious as to what's being exchanged, which generates extremely blurry lines in my opinion, which is perhaps why Dennis manifested his behaviors as well. He felt he was owed something. Perhaps. I literally put my spirit on the line being with you guys. I show up in physical form being in the field doing my best to contribute my soul. Literally. I think this points to something in the container that allows these things to happen in my opinion. I can acknowledge the weak spots I have as well, but it's a weird feeling I can't shake or even get to the bottom of myself fully. So I'm admitting wrong already. And like, but I'm like, something's up here. It's dressed well, so you can't point at it. But the lack of professional company structure and finances makes it feel like you're quite literally depending on your employees to maintain the ship. But on unspoken terms, it's weird to be in.

[00:28:36:23 - 00:28:44:13]
Jacqueline
 At this point, were you genuinely searching for like, what is this thing? Or do you feel like you saw pretty clearly at that point?

[00:28:45:18 - 00:29:03:05]
Keilan
 I knew something was off and I was like, I was kind of like, fuck you. Like that message to me was, it felt like so offsides. So I was like, I was just saying what I could observe. But felt, you know, true for me, but I wasn't like, this is a cult. And this is very clearly abusive. I was like, open to the idea that they might take this feedback truthfully.

[00:29:03:05 - 00:29:06:05]
Jade
 And also how much was that drone that he he bought you?

[00:29:06:05 - 00:29:07:04]
Keilan
 I was like $1,100.

[00:29:07:04 - 00:29:15:22]
Jade
 Yeah, it was cheap. And if you take how much work you did for months, over five months for you, and day in and day out.

[00:29:15:22 - 00:29:22:01]
Keilan
 Yeah, what does that mean? This guy like the marketing I did for his programs made him hundreds of thousands of dollars.

[00:29:23:08 - 00:29:58:07]
Keilan
 Okay, so I said, I'm definitely open to the idea of visiting you guys and knocking this out together. So I wouldn't write it off just yet. But I would be open to the idea that there's a leak energetically in the container or that the environment and structure of the company that can manifest flaky or hesitant or manipulative, then his behavior on half of the employees. Open to the reflections, you just suggested as well. I'm actually extremely aware of those. Also why it feels good to lead to some degree. My blueprint feels bigger than the environment I'm in. It doesn't feel like my full expression can be engaged in the current environment with you guys. It feels like putting a cap on my expression to some degree. Could explain more of what generates this dynamic as well in a private container potentially.

[00:29:59:12 - 00:30:11:23]
Jade
 But also, Keelan should be completely safe to give a distortion rating back to Ben. This is the kind of, you know, environment he's created. But this is what happens when you try and reflect the truth to him. And this is why people don't do it.

[00:30:11:23 - 00:30:12:20]
Keilan
 Yeah.

[00:30:15:00 - 00:30:21:01]
Keilan
 He says, Bettina responds to Jayden says, "Okay, cool, heart. Did not feel that was that based on our last dialogue where Keelan was sharing."

[00:30:23:03 - 00:31:00:22]
Keilan
 And you also. So this has been to responding to Jayden. He says, "And what contributes to my lesson to excitement for having you guys come back is the fact that your words and devotion are unreliable all over the place and change every week or two. I don't feel safe with either of you after what happened the past two weeks. I've counted them. I've counted on you, including you into all of my thinking and planning based on your words. And you've both in different ways and rhythms been unreliable, not all in a leak and a form of betrayal. If there's a strong desire to come back into the fold, there would have to be very clear process dialogue standard with each of you independently can be addressed in a shared group setting, but you each are unreliable for different reasons. So it's a case by case assessment."

[00:31:00:22 - 00:31:25:02]
Jade
 What he's talking about had happened was we were hanging out together and we were like, "Something's not right. We weren't even sharing that with the group." I was hooking up with Keelan very, very sparingly. And I had no longer been like, "Okay, I'm completely discarded by you. And I should just sit here like a doll." There was nothing that had happened. We hadn't done anything. We had been just as, you know, nothing was different.

[00:31:25:02 - 00:31:32:12]
Keilan
 Yeah. We were having team meetings about reigniting the brands, giving him ideas, all kinds of positive shit. He says, "They're good."

[00:31:32:12 - 00:31:36:01]
Mark
 Could I just ask a quick question? I want to understand something.

[00:31:37:16 - 00:31:41:05]
Mark
 If any of you said you didn't feel safe, what would be the response?

[00:31:43:04 - 00:31:44:18]
Keilan
 Safety is an illusion. That's a description.

[00:31:44:18 - 00:31:50:15]
Mark
 Okay. Safety is an illusion. But he says he doesn't feel safe. So then safety is not an illusion?

[00:31:52:15 - 00:32:00:21]
Jacqueline
 It's amazing when you point it out because it's so much harder, I think, even for us to see these hypocrisies because they're like invisible from our time to go. We're so ingrained.

[00:32:00:21 - 00:32:14:04]
Mark
 It's like two people in here. It's just he's bouncing back and forth between two sides. But I mean, I'm also saying this. I completely know that he believes safety is an illusion for other people.

[00:32:15:08 - 00:32:22:01]
Mark
 But I really hope people can hear that a lot of religions are just filled with this kind of hogwash.

[00:32:23:15 - 00:32:30:21]
Mark
 The reason he says it's an illusion is so that you'll bring down your boundaries and your defenses so he can do whatever he wants.

[00:32:32:03 - 00:32:38:21]
Mark
 And he can be injured though by even your thoughts or your pre-thoughts can injure him, right?

[00:32:40:00 - 00:32:57:00]
Jade
 I also think it's crazy because if you said you were unsafe, I'm like, "I never felt unsafe there because I wasn't allowed to." It never even crossed my mind. Seeing Jacqueline and Alison verbalize these things, by the time it got to me, I could only ever say I felt unsafe around Corey.

[00:32:58:01 - 00:33:05:20]
Jade
 But Ben, that didn't even exist in my wheelhouse to say because I knew he was the safest person for me in the entire world, which was not true.

[00:33:05:20 - 00:33:15:23]
Mark
 And also, Jade, I'm imagining for you as an athlete, as a tough one, to even admit to yourself you didn't feel safe would probably feel like weakness, right?

[00:33:17:16 - 00:34:28:20]
Jade
 Maybe, but I'm telling you, the tool wasn't on the table. And if the teacher isn't putting the tool on the table, it doesn't enter the conversation. I was trusting him fully. And I think I honestly, which is so ironic because he says I'm his worst student, but I think I honestly was his best because I didn't question anything. I'd watched all these women do the same shit and I was like, "Please, this is child's play. I've done trust falls. I've done big crazy things in coaching and that's if I tell me where to jump." So I just think that the pattern is so much more crazy because like when you see when Max and Ayla were in and they were saying things like, you know, "I don't want to devote myself. I don't want to trust you fully." And then you see Corey and Lisa and Ari and you see these people come in with my mentality, which was like, "Okay, I'm here. Like they can't do it. I will." So I didn't even have that. I just want people to understand this is why it's coercion because the teacher that I was following these teachings, he gave me verbatim. It's not a YouTube channel where you're just picking and choosing. He doesn't let you pick and choose. He's shoving shit down your throat and you have to orient to how this makes sense for you. Are you thinking when you're gagging? Are you thinking when you can't breathe? Like no.

[00:34:28:20 - 00:34:53:18]
Mark
 Yeah. I do want to just point out from like, because I've read these over the years, but like reading them again now with you being somewhat of an outsider, there is no humility in any of these teachings. There's zero humility. He seems to know exactly how reality works. And I'm highly suspicious of anybody that says they know exactly how reality works. Because like, how can you? No.

[00:34:54:23 - 00:36:03:12]
Keilan
 So this message is kind of interesting if you think about how the cult has morphed present day and helped me in shape that. He goes on, he says, "I no longer want to include short-term, unreliable people in my circle. They do not deserve my level of care, energy, and insight. Plus it's a major headache. Think Dennis, now you two, within a short period of time, so fucking unstable. And it does not feel good, honorable for your own souls, selves, in my opinion. But that is just my view based on what would destroy me from the inside out if I were in your shoes. You guys may just be too young and self-focused in your desires, perhaps to understand the requirements for true brotherhood, sisterhood, and a warfare or mission type of situation. You have too many personal interests to be fit for duty. We are at war in a very real way, and this is our squad, and all of our lives are at stake in one way, shape, or form. I need to know who I can count on. I am responsible for the mission and this team. This is not the first time you've heard this. Richard and Honorog have also been consistently radiating this, and you all nod your heads whenever they do. You guys have been bouncing back and forth between your sense of duty and honor and your personal bubble desires this whole time. So we're at fucking war. Our lives are at stake. Keep this to mind.

[00:36:03:12 - 00:36:05:03]
Jacqueline
 It's like a Star Trek episode.

[00:36:05:03 - 00:36:06:00]
Keilan
 Yeah.

[00:36:06:00 - 00:36:12:15]
Jacqueline
 Literally. I mean, this is something funny. Who's he at war with, by the way? The darkside. He's trying to enlighten the planet.

[00:36:12:15 - 00:36:19:22]
Keilan
 The losers of the planet. The demons, the girlfriends. The losers. The losers. Yeah, everybody. The whole world's against this man. Like,

[00:36:20:22 - 00:37:17:06]
Keilan
 "Can't have this in my house anymore," he says. "The cost is too great at my current velocity because this man is flying at the speed of light." Okay. So I respond. I say, "I don't think you understand how exhausting the past two months have been for me. It's easy to call me weak, but you honestly have no idea. It's easy to point out distortions, but I wish sometimes you did that, pointing out people's strengths, even one tenth as much. Leaves me never knowing where I actually stand with you. Leaves me feeling like you live with a different version of me in your mind than you're actually interacting with. Leaves me not feeling like your brother on the battlefield. I accept accountability for the fall through on this currently, but the dynamic of this team is exhausting in more ways than one. I'm sure it is for you as well." So now I'm admitting that I'll take the fall. I say, "There's also the borderline verbal harassment as your employee or brother on the battlefield. Things you say to motivate or inspire that actually come across as condescending or unhelpful, like this whole "you're a pussy" speech, which perhaps generates some of that gap you perceive as being unaccountable from my end."

[00:37:17:06 - 00:37:20:14]
Mark
 I like that you called it "you're a pussy" speech. I like that.

[00:37:20:14 - 00:38:05:21]
Keilan
 And I go on and I say, "Which you can blame on my weaknesses or projections, but it's no excuse to lead differently in my opinion. It becomes the environment you generate as a leader on the field, but also creates a sense of separation and distance from those that are supposed to be supporting you and have your back." I'm basically saying, "Stop being a dick to me and maybe I'll support you." So I go on and I say, "Too much on clarity, too much assumption or entitlement on the employer," and I'm still referring to him as a business, even though not being paid on the employer, and regarding assuming the employee should feel that this is acceptable behavior. We're all responsible for this to some degree. "Wouldn't look at this as just me," is all I'm saying. These are also my experiences, meaning like, "This isn't the objective truth, so I'm just sharing my experience and cold talk." Okay, so Corey is just exhausting.

[00:38:07:05 - 00:38:08:15]
Keilan
 She goes, "Damn,

[00:38:10:02 - 00:38:29:17]
Keilan
 I'm just now realizing how unready you were are for this, Kiki. If you're still stuck at which words Ben-Tinha uses, like what? How many times have we learned better than that? You've either slipped the radar and we didn't realize this whole time how little you crocked," which is a raw love one term for learning or understanding, "what's really going on here? Or you used to crocket and suddenly you're triggered."

[00:38:31:07 - 00:38:47:07]
Keilan
 Okay, these are the two options she's given me. "You're triggered or insecure and passing blame, so you don't have to look at that insecurity." Super Jocelyn vibes. Okay, Jocelyn's a brave woman who tried to speak up in the past and they always refer to her as like this one of the original demons.

[00:38:47:07 - 00:38:50:05]
Jade
 Although I think I've trumped her now, so that's...

[00:38:50:05 - 00:38:50:20]
Keilan
 Yeah, that's true.

[00:38:50:20 - 00:38:53:14]
Mark
 Achievent. Oh, you're more evil than Jocelyn though?

[00:38:53:14 - 00:38:54:21]
Jade
 Yes, for sure.

[00:38:54:21 - 00:39:09:04]
Keilan
 Yeah, and you'll see them mention Jocelyn to Jaden and her texts as well. So I'm saying, "Look, just," I said, "just saying how I feel, pointing out where my system spikes, not taking any of it personally, rather putting it on the table, which I'm not afraid to do here and wouldn't do publicly."

[00:39:10:07 - 00:39:11:23]
Keilan
 That's not exactly true that I don't do in this podcast.

[00:39:13:14 - 00:39:22:21]
Keilan
 I say, "Easy for you to..." I respond to Corey, I say, "Easy for you to just write me off as unready, but I'm pointing at something as if we can look at it together. Hey, I'm saying like, let's maybe be a team about this."

[00:39:22:21 - 00:39:26:10]
Jade
 No one's been paid for months of work, years of work.

[00:39:26:10 - 00:40:36:07]
Keilan
 Yeah, so keep in mind his passionate response about, you know, wishing us all well. This is how he responds to me. "Here's some more harassment for you. Brother, you're so often entitled, it's making me want to throw up a little. And again, what a weak approach you endorse in yourself. I am grossly disappointed. I invite you to do better right here and now. Where is your honor and strength, brother? Where is your trust in your devotion? What are you giving your power away to? This ain't you. You have been STS compromised for the past two weeks and scattered in your energy and words." So he's saying, "I've been demonically possessed." He says, "I've let it be, even though I saw it happening. It is your free will at this point. You now actually believe and represent the STS suggested thoughts." So a demon is playing me like a puppet. Anything I say or do at this point is literally a demon. And this is happening in front of the whole group chat, right? He says, "The baseline that's missing here is a pair of balls, honor and strength, determination to prevent you from playing victim and blaming the team structure for your actions and feelings. And a lack of trust in me, which comes only from your immature cockiness and is entirely misplaced." I personally think side note that I'm having a pair of balls by telling him what the fuck is wrong with this company.

[00:40:37:14 - 00:40:44:05]
Keilan
 So he says, "Trust in me could displace this entire situation and put you back in the light." Oh, help me, Jesus.

[00:40:45:13 - 00:40:57:19]
Keilan
 "Feels like I'm speaking to a drunk Keelan right now or a version of you in an altered state." First of all, can we go back to the fact that he just said he realized I was possessed by a demon for two weeks and he didn't pull me aside and say like, "Hey bro, let me help you with this."

[00:40:57:19 - 00:41:03:20]
Jade
 This man cries about everything immediately. Why would he wait and watch Keelan from the bleachers for two weeks?

[00:41:03:20 - 00:41:28:00]
Keilan
 Also, I want to, go ahead. Go ahead, Keelan. Just what I said isn't even that crazy. I think it's really not. I was being pretty like, I was like, "Hey dude, I think if we paid people, maybe we could be a better team and look it, now I'm a fucking demon out of nowhere." This is, the bar is so low. Jacqueline, all she had to do was say like, "Hey, I feel uncomfortable around you." How do you have any consent and free will in this fucking community?

[00:41:28:00 - 00:41:29:09]
Jade
 Like you don't. It doesn't exist.

[00:41:30:15 - 00:41:30:20]
Keilan
 Okay.

[00:41:32:13 - 00:41:35:06]
Jade
 I just really can't wait to see what people say to these things.

[00:41:36:06 - 00:41:37:21]
Jade
 You mean what they're going to say?

[00:41:37:21 - 00:41:56:09]
Mark
 I'm going to predict what they're going to say. They're going to say that this is not the true him, that he's mirroring where you're at to try to help you correct yourself. To wake us up. But what I would say to them is like, why do you need to believe that? And what do you lose if it's not true?

[00:41:57:23 - 00:42:02:06]
Mark
 Why do you need to believe it? And what do you lose if it's not true?

[00:42:03:14 - 00:42:16:01]
Jacqueline
 There's another version of this, which is he was trying to get you to the point of what you're doing right now. Look at how empowered you are. And he did this for you. He literally pushed you so far that you, do you know what I mean? Like that's another layer of this.

[00:42:16:01 - 00:42:23:23]
Mark
 You owe him, you owe him the man you've become, you owe him because of how strong you are now.

[00:42:23:23 - 00:42:38:07]
Keilan
 And he takes, he actually takes credit for that. And his letter from the Himalayas, he says that we are showing up with the same passion and mission, since a mission just for the dark side now. And that he's still like, you know, like we still like giving us our good qualities and kind of

[00:42:38:07 - 00:42:41:19]
Jade
 like, do you vomit? Do you laugh? Do you cry? It's all the things.

[00:42:41:19 - 00:43:06:22]
Mark
 I think you just fucking show the world. And I do want to invite, by the way, I want to invite any listeners, watchers, if you're a psychologist, please let us know what you're seeing here. Please in the comments section, describe what you're seeing. You don't have to, you know, pathologize anybody. You don't have to diagnose anybody. Please tell us the strategies that you're seeing. We would love to hear.

[00:43:06:22 - 00:43:52:04]
Jade
 But also, if you don't think that this is Ben, if you take away this is spirituality, and you're just listening to this is a owner of a company, just talking to his employees who he happens not to pay and takes all the money. We had made 100k office retreat, which was 15k for each participant is $1,000 a day. And he had already spent it within the month because he chose to stay in the combinations where the rest of his cult, like, and I was kicked out of the girlfriend suite, were in these hellholes and Cory included in power and him had this like gorgeous house, even though everyone was saying we felt sick there, it wasn't working well. So he's just drained all the money that we worked so hard to to gather up. And now we're back in that same stress point of like, we don't have any money. What are we going to do?

[00:43:53:10 - 00:43:57:09]
Mark
 This was the black tar. This is right after the black tar thing, right? Black tar.

[00:43:57:09 - 00:44:09:05]
Jade
 Yes, he said him and Paula had black tar in their mouth. And I actually looked up what black tar was because I was like, what the fuck is that in the heart or that it's black tar heroin. So I don't know. That sounds like a personal issue. That he was having.

[00:44:09:05 - 00:44:12:18]
Mark
 Yeah. Dylan, do you want to finish up this thing here?

[00:44:12:18 - 00:44:44:18]
Keilan
 Yeah. So he continues on. He says, feel free to say what you have to, but I'm done entertaining your compromised condition. You know better by now. If you don't trust me and us still, then I have nothing to offer you, nor to rely on you for. If you need to clear things up later, feel free to contact me, but not while you're in this state. I will send you love and light in a clear aura. When you have a moment, maybe check your STS compromised field for your own sake, my friend. I can see it going downhill from here real fast and multiple ways. If you don't clear yourself of this STS influence, trust me, I've seen this many times and I'm a little bit concerned for you with love.

[00:44:44:18 - 00:44:49:14]
Mark
 With love. Oh, Kealan, you're a pussy with love. With love.

[00:44:49:14 - 00:44:50:18]
Jade
 He's so brave.

[00:44:50:18 - 00:45:15:07]
Keilan
 Okay. Corey, she might as well just be it. You could program her with AI Claude at this point. Like it just, so she goes, she goes Kiki notice the nicknaming Kiki. If you're ready, you would see these paradoxes as part of the teaching, meaning the abuse. She says the goal isn't a company with happy employees. It's purification, freedom, alignment, source, right? Remember she's trying to talk me off the ledge. I'm like, both are possible.

[00:45:17:05 - 00:45:19:01]
Keilan
 Is that a fucking revolutionary concept?

[00:45:21:03 - 00:45:26:08]
Mark
 Both are possible. By the way, um, one of, uh, Ranieri's, uh, ladies called him Kiki as well.

[00:45:26:08 - 00:45:30:16]
Jade
 So that's weird. Oh Lord. I'm glad no one calls Kealan that.

[00:45:30:16 - 00:46:23:16]
Keilan
 It feels like my nickname growing up and down just completely averse to it or have to spell it differently at the minimum. Um, so Corey says you're sacrificing the more important one because of your attachment to the unimportant one, meaning I should be okay with not being paid. I'm chasing enlightenment. But Tino says, or no, as Corey says, Ben's right though. I told you, you felt SDS compromised a few days ago. You really do Kiki victim, blame me self-centered, making others wrong, projecting all of your pain onto your circumstances, all the classic signs. I say again, convenient to write me off. I might consider that what I'm sharing is also my intuitive experience that I'm trying to point at to strengthen the team's future potential. Although it might seem imbalanced, drastic. I'm just doing my best to share my experience with you guys while also accepting the idea it's filtered through my human experience. But I actually might be pointing at something just saying, but Tino changes the subject in a group chat. What time is honor I'm leaving again? We'd like to give him a hug before he goes.

[00:46:23:16 - 00:46:35:07]
Jacqueline
 Oh, healing. You're like, you would at least are clear headed. Even if you don't remember, even if you don't feel like you were clear headed, at least you said more than I did.

[00:46:35:07 - 00:46:50:15]
Keilan
 Yeah. Honestly, I look back at, I've read these, soon after I left and after we pieced together, it was a cold. I wasn't fully in the room, but I still respect 10% of me showing up and being pushing back against something.

[00:46:53:05 - 00:46:56:16]
Keilan
 But it's interesting to see how they handle that as well.

[00:46:56:16 - 00:47:08:21]
Jacqueline
 I was going to say, I did have a little bit of pushback with Mintino when I said, all of your ex-girlfriends are suffering so much. How can you reconcile this? And he's like, it's for a future life that they will be served.

[00:47:10:00 - 00:47:12:02]
Jacqueline
 I was like, okay, got it.

[00:47:12:02 - 00:47:15:19]
Keilan
 Okay. So this is wrapping up.

[00:47:17:00 - 00:48:13:07]
Keilan
 This text conversation is wrapping up. So I say, just feel like the fact I can't even express this to you guys without being written off as a Jocelyn or STS compromised is ridiculous. I'd call this a real conversation. On the baseline, I'm not assuming the problem is you or me. I'm pointing at something else altogether. I call this a real conversation. That's it. Yeah, I'm a little spiked, but so what? If you guys can't even attempt to understand me or look at what I'm trying to say, the gap is just too far for people like me that might enter the company with similar feelings or thoughts in the future. I'm literally just trying to express myself. I'm open to having this conversation offline at some point or something. So then this is how the cult responds, the other people in the group message after Corey. Corey's always got to be the first one to chirp in, but Lisa, a lifelong devotee says, just as a reference point, this has never been my experience. And she references what I've been saying, quotes me about the employee like thing. She says, I respect your free will to see things as you do, but this does not represent me or likely any of us. Corey says, agreed.

[00:48:14:15 - 00:48:27:12]
Keilan
 So, Ben Tino, this part's interesting. He says, bro, two of the clearest people on this planet who have both demonstrated consistent love and devotion to you are telling you out of care for you that your aura and thinking is compromised. They've seen it before many times and they're concerned.

[00:48:27:12 - 00:48:38:20]
Mark
 So, sorry, can I just, sorry, who are the two of the clearest people on the planet? Him and Corey. Him and Corey. Him and Corey are the, out of the eight and a half, nine billion people, the clearest people. I just wanted to make sure I understand.

[00:48:38:20 - 00:49:42:13]
Keilan
 IQ is off the charts. They don't even have an IQ. They have something else completely different. We don't understand. Just checking. Yeah. He says their simple message should suffice if you trusted them. Take a pause. Don't trust your reasoning right now until your energy is back in your essence and calling, basically until I brainwash myself into surrender and be like, I'm sorry, guys. He says, that's the solution when compromised by an STS is to not trust your own thinking. He says, I don't blame you for this. It operates in tricky, slowly incremental ways. So, it stays unnoticed and becomes adopted by the host as my own sovereignty. But truly, you vibrate with a frequency of being compromised. Now, what he's doing here is so manipulative because he says, I don't blame you for this. Meaning this is the reality. Like it's already happened. Okay. He says, pause my friend for your own alignment and safety, please. With a praying hand emoji. What's your calling exorcism before dialogue. Otherwise, who are we talking to and taking tips from the St. fully Ukeland wake up and shake those energies off. He sends a gift saying, I cast you out on clean spirit. And then a gift of the exorcism with a girl's head spinning in the bed.

[00:49:42:13 - 00:49:49:18]
Jade
 Now, these are funny when you're seeing those though, like in the group chat, they're not funny. They're like disturbing. And they honestly spike your nervous system.

[00:49:49:18 - 00:50:07:08]
Keilan
 100%. Like in retrospect, it's absolutely ridiculous. But like, while you're there, like, why are you sending me this? Like, you're literally comparing me to a woman who's possessed and their head is spinning. Then he sends a gift of a Teletubby and says, uh oh. And he says, vibration alignment and safety well-being first. Then we can talk concepts.

[00:50:07:08 - 00:50:27:00]
Mark
 So I wanted to jump in quickly because what happened in ESP Nixxiom is that if you were vested, you couldn't speak clearly. So you first had to get rid of your vestiveness before you could actually speak. And they would say things to you like, honestly, there's no point in talking to you like you're vested. So like, why don't you go get an EM deal with the vestiveness and then come back and we can have a conversation.

[00:50:27:00 - 00:50:28:13]
Jade
 What's vested mean?

[00:50:29:20 - 00:50:34:23]
Mark
 Um, possessed. No, it's like you're biased basically. You need something to be a certain way.

[00:50:35:23 - 00:50:38:22]
Mark
 And you can't be clear if you have needs. Yeah.

[00:50:39:22 - 00:50:46:16]
Jade
 Also, he's demeaning Keelan by putting the like, Teletubby, like you childish little, but also the exorcism. So again, you're like, huh?

[00:50:48:00 - 00:50:53:04]
Mark
 Is there more after that? Maybe one day we should release the, uh, the meme bombs you guys have made.

[00:50:53:04 - 00:50:54:19]
Jacqueline
 That's a really good one.

[00:50:54:19 - 00:50:55:12]
Mark
 Okay.

[00:50:57:20 - 00:51:24:19]
Keilan
 So this is just to show more of Corey and then Luke, who's also in the group. This is how they handle when Botino says something. He's Luke says to me, you're projecting Keelan. You project what doesn't feel right for you about, for example, the uncertainty about finances and structure onto the team, or at least on me. If I speak for myself, since your experience, isn't my experience at all, feel free to check that with the others. Just saying that your interpretations are gifts for yourself to learn from. They show you something, but not the team and the world. I don't know what the fuck this guy's saying.

[00:51:26:00 - 00:51:27:03]
Keilan
 Corey says, yep.

[00:51:28:08 - 00:51:58:00]
Keilan
 She says, I'll also speak for myself. I don't feel any closer. I don't feel closer with any human being alive than I do with Botino. Truly. I feel more one with him than I do anyone else. Like we know each other more intimately than anyone else knows me than I know anyone else. It's safer, more pure, more reliable, more unified than I've ever felt with any relative or best friend or partner ever. How do you explain that? If you insist, Botino keeps an arm's distance from everyone and maintains separation by keeping them at a cold shoulders reach.

[00:51:58:00 - 00:52:16:19]
Mark
 I can explain quickly from an outsider. The reason how do you explain that you feel closer and not to anybody else is because you've been conditioned that if you feel close to anybody else, you are a bad person. And so you have to say that and that you have to believe that you feel that such

[00:52:16:19 - 00:52:25:03]
Keilan
 a weird thing for her to randomly come in and say, by the way, I feel so intimate. Like it's like this, like that's almost like sexual or something.

[00:52:25:03 - 00:52:40:15]
Jacqueline
 This is Corey's justification and rationalization for everything. And she uses this in other places too. It's like she looks at herself and she says, I'm the most clear. So if I am seeing it this way, it must be true. It's like this weird loop.

[00:52:40:15 - 00:52:41:06]
Keilan
 I don't know.

[00:52:41:06 - 00:52:42:03]
Jacqueline
 She's looking just too bad.

[00:52:42:03 - 00:52:50:02]
Mark
 It's like on YouTube the other day when somebody said I'm using my discernment as though just using that word means you're having an empire.

[00:52:50:02 - 00:52:50:13]
Keilan
 I'm an empath.

[00:52:50:13 - 00:52:51:06]
Jacqueline
 I can tell.

[00:52:51:06 - 00:52:59:10]
Keilan
 He also did just refer to Corey as one of the second in command, the clearest person on the planet. So basically whatever she thinks is the absolute truth.

[00:52:59:10 - 00:53:07:08]
Mark
 If she's the clearest, is she the second most responsible for everything that's happened then? Is that how that works? I think that's how that should work. Okay. Just checking. Just checking.

[00:53:07:08 - 00:53:23:05]
Keilan
 So she says, how do you explain this like her insane connection with Patino? If you insist he keeps an arms distance from everyone and maintain separation by condescending people. I'm not immune to the roasts. I just interpret them differently than you do. So what she's saying is he roasts me all the time. I just learned to accept that abuse is love.

[00:53:24:06 - 00:53:34:23]
Keilan
 She goes, if you could accurately see the love and investment and visible guidance Patino has poured into you, your cold transactional message about the drone and gimbal would be embarrassing too. Okay. I should be grateful.

[00:53:34:23 - 00:53:38:03]
Mark
 Your leader started the conversation.

[00:53:39:21 - 00:53:43:10]
Mark
 Your Messiah was the one that was being petty about it.

[00:53:43:10 - 00:54:00:05]
Keilan
 And so I think this is where the conversation trails off and Anarok says, I'm about to head out to the airport. You guys are kind of okay. Even if you have been pretty sweaty and somewhat stinky these past weeks, you were definitely more enjoyable than the mosquitoes, really loud frogs and 40 degrees Celsius weather. Hope to meet up with you again.

[00:54:01:06 - 00:54:34:13]
Jade
 What? This is so amazing. This is my second form of evidence. Corey in a private thing in her little Massara University talk or somewhere, she said that I was a liar because it wasn't a hundred degrees in Merida. And the other day I found a screenshot from Bentino who was saying, guys, it's going to be in the hundreds this week. This is Anarok also saying it was 40 degrees. I had to translate that because that's Jacqueline degrees and that's 104 degrees. So if Corey can't accurately even remember the hot weather where everyone was pouring sweat after they paid 15 K to get eviscerated, like, oh, God,

[00:54:34:13 - 00:54:55:23]
Keilan
 he literally just described hell. But that that was the environment we were in. And then if you flash back and remember Bentino was saying that, like, you know, the high altitude training and how they glamorize that abusive, like toxic environment, that's what he was referring to. So this screenshot is just something I screenshotted. This is I screenshotted this yesterday, but Tino said was last seen recently. So he's still using Telegram and his username is nothing ever happened.

[00:54:58:00 - 00:55:00:16]
Mark
 How convenient? Nothing ever happened.

[00:55:00:16 - 00:55:02:16]
Jacqueline
 Does that mean everybody gets to search him?

[00:55:02:16 - 00:55:15:21]
Keilan
 No, nothing ever happened. Nothing ever happened. Nothing ever happened, guys. So this whole podcast. That's awesome. Yeah. That's awesome. Okay. Okay. And this is the last part I just want to share. And I talked about this in my first podcast, but it's cool to see.

[00:55:17:02 - 00:55:39:12]
Keilan
 So when Bentino, like Corey got sent over to our room a couple of days before we're leaving, this is May 6th, Jay and I escaped on May 10th. Hey, Corey says, how are y'all doing? What's up? And what are you both up to? I say, just chill in. You want to chat? Jade says, come to my room, Coco, if you want. So she comes over. We have this conversation. This is when she tells me, I tell her, Hey, Bentino's going to call me sweetie. The energy here is weird. I'm not feeling it. And she says, what if he's the next Jesus? And that's when I have this kind of...

[00:55:39:12 - 00:55:41:01]
Jade
 Go on.

[00:55:41:01 - 00:55:41:18]
Keilan
 Go on.

[00:55:41:18 - 00:56:26:09]
Jade
 Well, it's when I was drip feeding her, like things that were off in the company. And I was like, kind of, Hey, this is weird. And she's like, Okay, I can see that. And I don't know she was grabbing Intel, but it felt so much like she actually was walking the path with me was understanding. So it's important because she talks about the energy because I was telling her, Hey, it's weird. Ben says that the environment that you're, you're creating is secretly the one that is your actual intention. Well, he's mad because nothing's being generated. But isn't that his creation? I was like starting to use Ben's own teachings as like the framework for what was wrong here. And so I did that on her. And she, but I was really afraid to. So I did it very slowly up until like, we got pretty far. And she was like, Okay, I get it. Yeah, like I'm gonna go think about this.

[00:56:26:09 - 00:56:43:15]
Keilan
 Yeah, Jade was pointing out contradictions. Jade also admitted that me and her had been hooking up at that point. So now I'm having cognitive dissonance, spitting, she's saying, Jesus. And I'm just like, what the fuck? So Corey leaves, I guess this was almost a two hour meeting where we talked with her to me, it felt like 20 minutes, like I can only access about 20 minutes of that memory.

[00:56:44:16 - 00:56:55:20]
Keilan
 She says, weird energy felt like relief to leave your guys's space, which is weird, because once we're hanging out, I felt okay. But come to think of it. I also felt like I was entering into a dense bubble when I came into the room. I do think y'all are in a bubble.

[00:56:56:20 - 00:57:02:15]
Keilan
 Bubble and cold terms is like you guys have come to some conclusions about things that don't align with us.

[00:57:02:15 - 00:57:05:06]
Mark
 You're bonding and you should be bonded to the cult.

[00:57:05:06 - 00:57:05:18]
Keilan
 Yes.

[00:57:05:18 - 00:57:06:07]
Mark
 100%.

[00:57:06:07 - 00:57:06:20]
Keilan
 Yeah.

[00:57:06:20 - 00:57:07:09]
Mark
 100%.

[00:57:07:09 - 00:57:29:12]
Keilan
 And you're starting to form thought forms that veer outside of that. And so she says, it's just a convincing one even convinced me mentally until I left and felt the energetics curious if either of you notice or feel this. My feeling is it's not affecting Jade much, but it's affecting Kiki a lot like Jade, you're getting so much need of relief, touch creative outlet someone to be pouring yourself into and be poetic with. Well, there's a bigger imbalance going on with Kiki.

[00:57:31:08 - 00:58:23:01]
Keilan
 Can't put my finger on it yet. But Kiki, you seem to be in fight or flight somehow some victim energy going on. I wonder why. So I respond and I say there's only two more slides of this. I say just feeling cognitive dissonance. It's interesting. I even had that term from interacting with you guys. I think for Jade, the situation feels less personal, but for me, there's more attachments to you guys, which is equally disorienting being around her energy. That's more fine. But I'm also going through a more personal process regarding the situation because I had a longer history with the cults and all these, we were in two different places, Jade and I. But I say, so between the both of you, I need to withdraw just because with you, Koko, I feel we see things differently. With Jade, I feel we are handling our processes differently as well. So being with both of you guys felt like a pressurized disorienting container to some degree. I also feel like there's a lot of different layers being activated simultaneously between dynamic of Jade and I, the group and I, and how both of those things relate. Just processing a lot. So yeah, I'm withdrawn at the moment. This next part's important.

[00:58:26:07 - 00:58:50:22]
Keilan
 So I say, like the fact that you think Benigno is Jesus actually blows my mind and makes me feel like I have zero chance of interacting with you somehow. So it's disorienting as fuck because I love you a lot, but just feel this weird gap I can't explain. I'm just going to be honest with my thoughts, all of them. I agree though. I need to chill out for a second. Corey goes, wait, it's surprising that this stands out to you. Jesus was fourth density. Benigno was way more advanced than Jesus laughed my ass off, but really,

[00:58:52:11 - 00:58:54:03]
Keilan
 okay. Wow.

[00:58:55:22 - 00:59:00:06]
Keilan
 It's hard to have a conversation with someone that thinks this way.

[00:59:00:06 - 00:59:02:16]
Mark
 I want to ask you, Keelan,

[00:59:03:21 - 00:59:15:10]
Mark
 because the way you're speaking in these messages from back in 2021 is so unlike who I know now. What does it feel like to look back at the way you were using language as well?

[00:59:16:22 - 00:59:31:03]
Keilan
 A lot of it's word salad. A lot of it's me feeling things, but then assigning spiritual concepts to things and it's muddled and a little bit abstracty and abstracted, but there's like a thread of truth in there. There's a little thread that leads back to my spirit that I'm like, okay, he's there.

[00:59:32:06 - 00:59:43:13]
Keilan
 But it's not how I would express myself obviously at all. I feel like I'm looking back ironically, I think again with Benigno pointing out things that are accurate, I do feel kind of drunk. I'm waking up out of this haze and I'm disoriented and I'm pressurized.

[00:59:44:16 - 01:00:01:08]
Mark
 The reason I was asking is because then also in Nixxiom, we all spoke a certain kind of language and when I look back at emails and things and I'm also looking at these messages because it's the same in many organizations, it feels very disconnected from just the actual visceral self.

[01:00:02:11 - 01:00:05:20]
Mark
 There's all these rules and regulations of how you're supposed to say things.

[01:00:07:06 - 01:00:09:15]
Keilan
 Yeah, and I'm discounting myself as I'm expressing myself.

[01:00:09:15 - 01:00:14:20]
Jade
 Can I show them the photo where we already had this conversation? It's you in my bed.

[01:00:14:20 - 01:00:16:05]
Mark
 Where is it?

[01:00:16:05 - 01:00:20:10]
Jade
 Okay, it's just so... This room is so creepy. I don't know where I could see it.

[01:00:20:10 - 01:00:20:23]
Mark
 Is it in here?

[01:00:20:23 - 01:00:23:04]
Jade
 Oh no, sorry. I guess I'll send it there.

[01:00:24:12 - 01:00:25:14]
Mark
 Send it here and I'll show it.

[01:00:25:14 - 01:00:26:06]
Keilan
 Yeah, this is the...

[01:00:27:09 - 01:00:38:12]
Keilan
 Ironically, it looks dark. It looks like I'm on my funeral bed and where Corey came in that we had this conversation about her speaking Ben with Jesus. This is where I was just fucked up. And

[01:00:38:12 - 01:00:40:09]
Jade
 actually, this was taken at 404.

[01:00:40:09 - 01:00:47:13]
Mark
 So Jesus was basically a lower level enlightened being. Too much

[01:00:47:13 - 01:00:48:22]
Jade
 love and not enough wisdom.

[01:00:50:17 - 01:00:51:11]
Mark
 So this is the bedroom?

[01:00:51:11 - 01:00:56:18]
Keilan
 Yeah, this is where we all kind of hung out in the bed and she told me that she was like, "What if Benigno is the next Jesus?"

[01:00:56:18 - 01:00:59:20]
Jade
 And then we go to the next slide after that.

[01:00:59:20 - 01:01:01:20]
Mark
 It's a very nice bedroom by the way.

[01:01:01:20 - 01:01:08:00]
Jade
 Yeah, but it was also very creepy. It used to be like some creepy old... Some kind of... Look at the windows. They have bars on them.

[01:01:08:00 - 01:01:09:04]
Keilan
 Yeah,

[01:01:10:16 - 01:01:15:22]
Keilan
 this is after the Corey said the Jesus thing and I was just trying to feel... I don't know. Okay.

[01:01:15:22 - 01:01:47:00]
Jade
 But really, it was like a perfect expression of cognitive dissonance because I was there trying to put a little bit of logic in the room and Corey was there trying to put the brainwash in the room and Keelan was in between and it literally was like the two worlds were in his body at the same time and he was like fucked up. He was starting to shake and feel sick and he literally was like kind of almost yelling at us like, "You guys need to get out of the room. I can't be in the room with you two." And of course that's a distortion if you're following anything that you feel in your body. So Corey didn't like that.

[01:01:47:00 - 01:01:51:10]
Keilan
 Yeah, but I think that's the extent of the text threads I wanted to share.